Sabotage
by JenesisX
Summary: Reno hates paperwork, and Rude is making him look bad at the office. So he decides to teach his best friend what happens when one turns in something they wrote before thoroughly proofreading. Happy April Fool's Day!


((**Author's Note: **This story is a result of a one hour challenge based solely upon the word 'sabotage.' It was written on April Fool's Day 2012, and took me a total of 51 minutes including editing. This was my first timed challenge ever! From this point out, further challenges are gather in my collection called _Life's Little Challenges_, but since this one had already been posted on its own I decided to leave it as-it.))

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><p><strong>sabotage: <strong>verb; to destroy, damage, or disrupt, especially by secret means.

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><p>Paperwork was probably Reno's least favorite thing in the entire universe. He hated it more than Monday mornings, more than travel rations… even more than those painfully long meetings he had to sit through once a week. He loved being sent out on assignments, and the one from which he'd just returned with Rude was no exception. It had been dangerous, but exciting and a lot of fun. What he hated was the aftermath…<p>

He sighed, staring at the open document before him on his computer screen. He'd been doing so for two hours now. It remained blank, mocking him. Across a narrow pathway that ran through the office, his partner was busily typing away in his own cubicle, completely engrossed in writing up his report of their mission.

"Yo, Rude!" he called out, shaking his head with disgust. "Slow down, man, you're making me look bad."

His best friend paused and spun around in his chair. "What do you have done so far?" he asked, gesturing toward Reno's monitor. The redhead grinned crookedly, turning the screen so Rude could see his 'work.'

"Nothin,'" he said, frowning. "I hate this shit. It's sooo boring, and I'm no good at it."

"But it's part of the job. Gotta do it."

"Pfft."

Rude returned to typing like rapid fire a moment later. Reno sighed heavily, opening a game of solitaire and beginning to play. Why did they _both_ have to write a report, anyway? They'd been together the entire time. The way he saw it, the person who was better at this kind of shit ought to take care of it. And that person was Rude. But no, no, _everyone_ involved had to hand in their own written version of events. It was such bureaucratic bullshit! What a waste of time and energy… not to mention paper and ink. And now Rude was making it worse by being so damn efficient.

A few minutes later, Rude's keyboard suddenly fell silent. Reno glanced up, watching as his friend stood, stretched, and headed for the men's room with a magazine in hand. When he had left the office, Reno rolled his chair over to his friend's desk and took a look at his monitor, quickly scanning the long paragraphs he'd written. Dammit, he'd already finished so much… and it was good, too.

_Shit…_

Reno growled with frustration. He was annoyed that he would have to put out an effort after all, and that his friend was only making it harder for him. He wondered if Rude would let him copy some of his work if he begged hard enough. He was about to return to his desk to sulk a bit, and then perhaps do some actual work, when a devious idea entered his mind.

No. He shouldn't. He _really_ shouldn't. But… Oh gods, it was just so tempting!

Smirking, Reno pushed Rude's chair aside and positioned himself at his friend's keyboard. Scrolling to a paragraph closer to the top, he giggled to himself as he began to edit the document. Knowing good old, predictable Rude, he had about ten minutes of uninterrupted time to work his magic while he took his afternoon dump. This would be a report their boss would never forget!

To be safe, he spent just a few minutes typing before scrolling back to the end where Rude had left off and returning his chair to its original position. His mood much improved, Reno grinned as he rolled back to his own station, finally beginning to write up the events of the previous day. Rude soon returned to his desk and began typing again as if he hadn't noticed a thing.

"Hey, Rude?" Reno asked after a short while, still feeling mischievous. "Isn't it your turn to refill the coffee?" He held up his empty cup and made sad puppy-dog eyes at his friend.

Rude sighed. "Yeah…" He stood again, running a hand over his bald head before accepting Reno's mug. After picking up his own, he left the office again, this time headed for the coffee machine in the break room down the hall.

Reno grinned, quickly returning to Rude's station and adding a bit more flavor to his report. He fought hard to stifle his laughter, far too amused by his own antics. Satisfied, he covered his tracks once more and resolved to actually do his own work now. For real this time. Seriously.

Rude soon returned with their coffee, still not noticing anything… different… about the report he was writing. Reno grinned to himself as he chugged the lukewarm, gritty coffee, needing the energy if he was ever going to get this done and be able to go home for the day.

About an hour later, Reno heard the printer begin to run, realizing Rude was finished his report and about to turn it in. He smirked to himself even though he'd still written barely half a page of his own.

"Gonna go give that beauty to Tseng?" he asked, trying to sound innocent and nonchalant.

Rude glanced at him and nodded, stapling the pages together once all had been printed. "I'll tell him you're… still working on yours." He rolled his eyes, and Reno gave him the finger.

"Show off… Go on, go show him how amazing you are. I don't mind if you make me look like shit."

Rude left the room without reply to turn in the report, leaving Reno to stare at his screen in frustration once more.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

About an hour later, Reno was just finishing up his excuse for a report when Tseng appeared in the doorway, holding a small stack of papers in his hands and appearing baffled. He quickly looked down at his keyboard, struggling with all his might to keep a straight face.

_Here it comes…_

"Rude…" Tseng began, his normally neutral tone colored with concern.

"Yeah, boss?" Rude asked, glancing up at him and lifting an eyebrow. He clearly had not been expecting his arrival.

"About this report. What… I don't understand…" Tseng tilted his head, studying him closely. Rude blinked, confused.

"What about it?" he asked. "Is there a problem?"

Oh gods. It was so hard not to burst out into hysterics!

"I… You…" Tseng paused, clearing his throat and scanning the document before him. Then he began to read. Reno finally turned to face him, looking on expectantly. This was going to be epic. "We then entered the suspect's residence and began a search. When I reached the bedroom, I stole several pairs of women's undergarments for later use in my masturbatory rituals."

"_What?!_" Rude's eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"After discovering that no one was home, we went outside into the back yard. I touch myself at night, and I like the smell of my own feces."

Just then, Elena passed by in the hallway behind their boss, a man with whom she was romantically involved. When she heard his words, she stopped dead, gaping at his back for long moments. Then she slowly continued down the hall, a very disturbed look upon her face. They'd be having an interesting conversation that evening.

Reno couldn't contain it any longer, bursting into a loud fit of hysterical laughter. Tseng's expression never wavered, and Rude looked like he was about to have a heart attack. Or perhaps die of embarrassment right there at his desk.

"But… I didn't… I didn't write that!" he exclaimed, clicking to reopen the document. "See, it doesn't say-" He stopped abruptly, realizing the text on his monitor was exactly the same. "What the _fuck?!_"

Reno howled with laughter until tears were trailing down his cheeks and his face was bright red. He feared he might wet his pants. Oh gods, he couldn't breathe. It hurt! But it was so worth it, and he couldn't stop.

"On our way back to Midgar," Tseng continued to read in the same emotionless tone, "I used the company credit card to purchase beer and gay pornography. I have a secret crush on Heidegar and long to tell him how I feel. His beard looks so soft."

"…..."

"Holy shit, Rude. What the hell is wrong with you, man?" Reno finally managed to choke out. "Hahahahaha!"

"If you are having personal problems…" Tseng paused and looked at Rude with sympathy. "Please feel free to stop by my office at the end of the day. But this report needs to be redone. Professionally, this time."

With that, their boss turned and left the room, leaving Rude to stare after him in shock and horror. When he looked at Reno again, noting the mischievous, satisfied look in his eyes, he suddenly frowned.

"It was _you, _wasn't it?!" he exclaimed, glaring at his friend accusingly. "You fucking added all that stuff when I left the room! You son of a bitch!"

"Prove it!" Reno smirked, still giggling, wiping away his tears with his shirt sleeve. "Oh gods… That was great."

"I'm going to get you for this… You just wait! You won't know when, or where… but I'm going to fucking get you."

"Bring it!" Reno grinned, always up for further mischief and pranks. It was something he excelled at, after all, something he knew he could do better than any of the other Turks. "And Rude… Next time, you really ought to proofread your work before you hand it in!"

**~ The End ~**

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><p>((<strong>Author's Notes:<strong> For the "revenge," check out the episode entitled "Arrest" in my challenge series, _Life's Little Challenges_! Reno is also the subject of quite a few others as well. He seems to give me an awful lot of ideas for these, haha. ~_ JenesisX _))


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